Alzheimers Grandma Deathbed
Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2018 9:19 pm
My Grandma is on her death bed tonight.
She is 90 something years old in a nursing home. Maybe almost 100 years old. How sad I don't know this. Just 90 something.
She is/was a child of the great depression. She's at the end stages of Alzheimer's. I don't know anything about the end stages of Alzheimer's but the Doctors and nurses are saying it's something about not eating or drinking.
I feel like I'm supposed to be at her death bed but I'm being told no. That it's too graphic and they are considering Morphine injections? I don't know how any of this stuff works and I didn't know nursing homes could just kick the bucket with morphine at a nurses say so. Perhaps they just want to get off work and go home like every other lazy good for nothing SOB out there so just shoot her up with Morphine and be done with it.
Please pray for her to get better or pass. I don't want her to die. She has been part of my life since I was a baby and I love her very much. But, while she was living she explicitly stated over, and over again, ad infinitum, she don't want to be a burden to anyone in her old age. Well I believe in honoring peoples wishes but when she got Alzheimer's she legally lost the right to make her own decisions. Well my Mom, being the heaven sent kind hearted angel she is, well, Mom throws away $5,000.00+ per month in nursing home care costs with weekly entertainment and 24/7 care. But Grandma really doesn't know who she is or where she is or who any of us are. Not really. She has conversations with invisible people. People from her past. Etc. Look I feel guilty saying this but it's been a decade of my Mom chucking all her money and time away and it's time for my Grandma to A) get better or B) pass into heaven. i mean I know I sound like a jerk for saying this but it is what it is. And I'm just tired of seeing my Moms finances and time getting sucked away for nothing. It's not for nothing but like I said the real her would have never permitted my Mom do to this because she was adamant about not being a burdon on others.
She was a devout Christian, and I am certain she is going to heaven. Because if she's not nobody is and I need to just take up a life of Hedonism before it's too late. Grandma worshiped Jesus Christ as Lord, introduced me to Charles Stanly, and went to Church, Bible Study, etc etc for years. She was one of those people with bibles filled with notes. She would take notes at church and from sermons on TV. Notes notes everywhere.
She is a good person and I love her very much but am worried more about how hard this will be on my Mom. Grandma was also adamant about nobody crying for her passing and demanded nobody cry because she would be in heaven with the Lord. But as everyone knows that doesn't matter for those still stuck on this earth who are mourning their loss. I will feel very bad because now a huge part of my life is gone but this has been in the works since forever. And when I see how much money and time my Mom, buckets of cash, just pouring cash into her , anything to just keep her going (this nursing home has all these activities with banjo players, magicians, singers, dancers, 5 bed wetting changes per day all these other things she's paying for.. it's just a huge, huge waste of my parents cash. My parents need this money because old age runs on both sides of the family and they need it for their care which will obviously be sky high in the future even if there is no USD crisis. It's common for people on both sides of my family to live to be 90-100+ even if they were drinkers smokers and card players.
I feel guilty for wanting her to pass but I really think it's best. I mean I don't want her to pass... but I kind of do.. but I don't. One of the other family members made mocking comments at me in the living room.. because I complained about how much it's costing (my parents do not care how much it costs even though it's draining them dry) and suggested comparing this posh nursing home to a government nursing home ...to see what that $5k month (vs. free) is really getting someone. Then he started yelling "throw the old bag out on the street!" "she's a money pit!" "get rid of her!" mocking me in front of everyone like I am a selfish person for saying this ...."how would you like it if it was you in the government nursing home" etc.
I feel guilty but like I said before Alzhiemers she was adamant about not being a burden to others...and I'm just not seeing what good throwing buckets of money away is doing. I just want her to come through... and get better... or pass. She will go to heaven. I have zero doubt in this. So staying on earth is just delaying her inevitable appointment with the Lord ...and her place in Heaven forever. It just doesn't make any sense to me.
I am happy I got to tell her I love her and it seemed like she recognized me for a split second. Her name is Helen. Please pray for her recovery or passing. Sorry for the long winded entry ...but I'm back at home now w nobody to talk to.
She is 90 something years old in a nursing home. Maybe almost 100 years old. How sad I don't know this. Just 90 something.
She is/was a child of the great depression. She's at the end stages of Alzheimer's. I don't know anything about the end stages of Alzheimer's but the Doctors and nurses are saying it's something about not eating or drinking.
I feel like I'm supposed to be at her death bed but I'm being told no. That it's too graphic and they are considering Morphine injections? I don't know how any of this stuff works and I didn't know nursing homes could just kick the bucket with morphine at a nurses say so. Perhaps they just want to get off work and go home like every other lazy good for nothing SOB out there so just shoot her up with Morphine and be done with it.
Please pray for her to get better or pass. I don't want her to die. She has been part of my life since I was a baby and I love her very much. But, while she was living she explicitly stated over, and over again, ad infinitum, she don't want to be a burden to anyone in her old age. Well I believe in honoring peoples wishes but when she got Alzheimer's she legally lost the right to make her own decisions. Well my Mom, being the heaven sent kind hearted angel she is, well, Mom throws away $5,000.00+ per month in nursing home care costs with weekly entertainment and 24/7 care. But Grandma really doesn't know who she is or where she is or who any of us are. Not really. She has conversations with invisible people. People from her past. Etc. Look I feel guilty saying this but it's been a decade of my Mom chucking all her money and time away and it's time for my Grandma to A) get better or B) pass into heaven. i mean I know I sound like a jerk for saying this but it is what it is. And I'm just tired of seeing my Moms finances and time getting sucked away for nothing. It's not for nothing but like I said the real her would have never permitted my Mom do to this because she was adamant about not being a burdon on others.
She was a devout Christian, and I am certain she is going to heaven. Because if she's not nobody is and I need to just take up a life of Hedonism before it's too late. Grandma worshiped Jesus Christ as Lord, introduced me to Charles Stanly, and went to Church, Bible Study, etc etc for years. She was one of those people with bibles filled with notes. She would take notes at church and from sermons on TV. Notes notes everywhere.
She is a good person and I love her very much but am worried more about how hard this will be on my Mom. Grandma was also adamant about nobody crying for her passing and demanded nobody cry because she would be in heaven with the Lord. But as everyone knows that doesn't matter for those still stuck on this earth who are mourning their loss. I will feel very bad because now a huge part of my life is gone but this has been in the works since forever. And when I see how much money and time my Mom, buckets of cash, just pouring cash into her , anything to just keep her going (this nursing home has all these activities with banjo players, magicians, singers, dancers, 5 bed wetting changes per day all these other things she's paying for.. it's just a huge, huge waste of my parents cash. My parents need this money because old age runs on both sides of the family and they need it for their care which will obviously be sky high in the future even if there is no USD crisis. It's common for people on both sides of my family to live to be 90-100+ even if they were drinkers smokers and card players.
I feel guilty for wanting her to pass but I really think it's best. I mean I don't want her to pass... but I kind of do.. but I don't. One of the other family members made mocking comments at me in the living room.. because I complained about how much it's costing (my parents do not care how much it costs even though it's draining them dry) and suggested comparing this posh nursing home to a government nursing home ...to see what that $5k month (vs. free) is really getting someone. Then he started yelling "throw the old bag out on the street!" "she's a money pit!" "get rid of her!" mocking me in front of everyone like I am a selfish person for saying this ...."how would you like it if it was you in the government nursing home" etc.
I feel guilty but like I said before Alzhiemers she was adamant about not being a burden to others...and I'm just not seeing what good throwing buckets of money away is doing. I just want her to come through... and get better... or pass. She will go to heaven. I have zero doubt in this. So staying on earth is just delaying her inevitable appointment with the Lord ...and her place in Heaven forever. It just doesn't make any sense to me.
I am happy I got to tell her I love her and it seemed like she recognized me for a split second. Her name is Helen. Please pray for her recovery or passing. Sorry for the long winded entry ...but I'm back at home now w nobody to talk to.