The Thread Where Off-Topic is On Purpose and A-Okay!

kateliz · Post by **kateliz** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 5:55 am

But then I saw a can of "Mild Green Chiles" in the fridge here where I'm dogsitting.

kateliz · Post by **kateliz** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 6:22 am

How do you get an "internet freak" who has a social anxiety disorder and hates any kind of party- even family gathering- to a small, stupid Halloween party?

He's my friend's friend, who talks to him with AIM, which I don't have, and I started talking to him on her computer that way. We get along great, and, as if it weren't expected, joke a lot, (I can't be as clever on my toes as I am here with semi-thought-out posts.) My friend and I tracked him down last night, (really mostly for fun,) and first found his house, (few blocks from my own,) and then chased him down to his work, (he wasn't at home.) I tried pestering him, (how nice of me, wasn't it!) into going to our stupid little party, where it'll only be four of us if him and another guy we haven't asked to come yet comes, and he knows all of us, but he persistantly refused, saying he didn't like parties and wanted to stay home and mooch off his parents candy.

I've already prayed for him, but what else do you guys think I should do? I do plan on continuing to pester him unrelentlessly, (but, no, I won't go overboard... unless I already have!) and in a nice, caring way. I fully understand how he's feeling because I'm a very insecure person myself in many situations, (although public speaking has never been an issue, but on the contrary a joy.) People with confidence generally scare me off because I have so little. A fourteen year old boy with confidence next door to where I work scares me off because of it! *Shakes head*

I know I came on really strong, (he'll find out soon enough from his dad that we first hunted him down at his house!) and I know that I must have scared him some, (he'll think I'm a looney, maybe not unjustly,) but I want to break him of it enough to get him out of his house a little more.

I don't feel that by having only chatted with him via IM that it's inappropriate or strange to make a claim on being able to pester him- just a few nights ago we were joking around until 1 am, to our shame. And he did go to school with our shared friend, (although she didn't know where he lived nor even had his phone number before we hunted him down!)

What do you guys think? Any advice (other than, "You psycho-path! Leave the poor guy alone!")? I want to help him, and I believe it'll have to done more by force than by gentle persuasion. He's even chicken to play frisbee golf, using as an excuse that he hasn't played in ten years, even though he liked the game and would like to play it again.

And no, I don't want an answer, please, based on the psychology of the disorder, (if he even actually has it,) because I don't believe he's stuck like this without getting professional help. He just needs to get convinced his fears are unfounded for the most part, and I do believe I'll be able to beat it out of him if I do it the right way.

Maybe I shouldn't ask for advice; seems I've already got a gameplan I want to follow through on! But any is welcome for consideration.

BGoodForGoodSake · Post by **BGoodForGoodSake** » Sat Oct 22, 2005 3:51 pm

You need to smoke him out.

*fire in the hole!*

beckyandretti · Post by **beckyandretti** » Sun Oct 23, 2005 10:25 am

stalking works... but only if they dont file restraining orders..

kateliz · Post by **kateliz** » Sun Oct 23, 2005 7:37 pm

Turns out he has it for real. I'm working on it. I see it as a thing of God for me to do this. He put an odd determination in me to see this through. Maybe I'll have to do some healing in him if God so gives me the faith for it.

Here's a link he gave me I think you guys would like:http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php

PS, I'll be nice, it never ends.

BGoodForGoodSake · Post by **BGoodForGoodSake** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 10:37 pm

kateliz wrote:Turns out he has it for real. I'm working on it. I see it as a thing of God for me to do this. He put an odd determination in me to see this through. Maybe I'll have to do some healing in him if God so gives me the faith for it.

Here's a link he gave me I think you guys would like:http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php

PS, I'll be nice, it never ends.

I love this.
Thanks kateliz for opening up my eyes to the truth.

Blob · Post by **Blob** » Tue Oct 25, 2005 12:24 am

kateliz wrote:Turns out he has it for real. I'm working on it. I see it as a thing of God for me to do this. He put an odd determination in me to see this through. Maybe I'll have to do some healing in him if God so gives me the faith for it.

Here's a link he gave me I think you guys would like:http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php

PS, I'll be nice, it never ends.

I love this sort of thing.

Try this.

AttentionKMartShoppers · Tue Oct 25, 2005 10:29 am

That site creeps me out....weeeeiiiirrrddd

kateliz · Post by **kateliz** » Wed Oct 26, 2005 2:02 pm

I only bothered to watch the first little part of that, sorry, didn't care for it. You have to have substance in the topic! (

) There was something even better about "How to Kill a Mockingbird" he sent me, but I'd have to get on a different computer to get the link for you guys. Very long, but that was pretty good. (Obviously by guys- too much warfare!)

No, it's going good so far. I do believe I'll get him to the party after all. Gentle force is what he needs. It'll take time, but I do believe it'll be a success!

BGoodForGoodSake · Post by **BGoodForGoodSake** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 1:51 am

kateliz wrote:I only bothered to watch the first little part of that, sorry, didn't care for it. You have to have substance in the topic! ( ) There was something even better about "How to Kill a Mockingbird" he sent me, but I'd have to get on a different computer to get the link for you guys. Very long, but that was pretty good. (Obviously by guys- too much warfare!)

No, it's going good so far. I do believe I'll get him to the party after all. Gentle force is what he needs. It'll take time, but I do believe it'll be a success!

Can you post the link here?

btw how did the party go?

beckyandretti · Post by **beckyandretti** » Sun Oct 30, 2005 11:29 am

Hope it went well for you kate

kateliz · Post by **kateliz** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 8:41 am

Wasn't much of one! Wasn't supposed to be, really! We had two people show up, (we're so sad,) and all we did was talk while eating pizza and watch a movie. But it was fun buying and putting up the decorations, (which are useless when you have the lights out and stare at a TV!) It was fun enough. Thanks though.

But before that my co-host and I went to the guy's house, where it went as smoothly as can be. No problems when it's at his house. And I think he's perfectly comfortable with us. Tonight I'm going to dare to ask if he'd want to join my Mom and I at my house handing out candy. My Mom needs me to help answer the door, (she's got bad knees and it's a split-level entry,) but I don't want it to just be us again, (too many years it has been.) I doubt he'd accept the invitation, but I'm being optomistic about it. I'll give a full report, (meaning a sum-up) here later about how it went.

Sorry, BGood, still at wrong computer for the link!

kateliz · Post by **kateliz** » Mon Oct 31, 2005 8:50 am

Oh, right, I didn't explain why he didn't end up coming to the party. He's much worse off than eigher of us, (our mutual friend and I,) had suspected. Long story with how we discovered that. Let's just say we've given up on our "stalking" and "kidnapping" techniques, (which his family supported and even asked of us!) No force at all now. Just going to try to make him more and more comfortable to draw him out.

Oh, and BTW, the mutual friend is the one and only tarreyl, (is that how she spells her screen-name here?) The Bush hater and unreasonable democrat that can't be reasoned with. I had to hit her hard with a throw pillow several times last night when she kept insisting Mary Magdalene was in Davinci's Last Supper. (All in good, frustrated fun- she was laughing.) Man! I give myself credit for being able to be her friend at all!

She just doesn't care what comes out of other people's mouths! (Or keyboards, for that matter.) Nothing but sarcasm ever passes the cartilage (spelling?) on the sides of her head!

kateliz · Post by **kateliz** » Mon Nov 14, 2005 2:34 pm

I'm pasting here what I would've left in the age thread if it had been on-topic:

No, I get all that, BGood. But you first have to get into it to appreciate that as you should, and I guess I'm not willing enough to get into it again after all this time!

I've added several books to my library with the intent of educating myself through them, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet! I bum around too much. Want more excitement. I used to love to sit and read and think. Used to want to be stuck in a jail cell or hospital bed just so that I could do that constantly. For years I was like that. Years, and years, and... well, I'm not that old! But being in a job where I only interact with two young kids, and not having hardly any friends, I'm just starving for socialization. Used to want to be a hermit and be away from everyone too. I would day-dream of sitting in my little hut on a mountain side, never seeing another living soul for decades! Now I feel like the opposite. Want to have friends around me all the time that I can joke around with and go and do adventurous stuff with.

I have recently made a new friend though. So that makes three! Yipee! But the one friend never wants to do anything and never even bothers to answer her phone, (for everyone, not just me,) or return my calls. She's depressed, but won't let me help undepress her. So I end up spending all my time, (most every day now,) with the other friend, and the two of us IM the other other friend during the week and have been getting together with him at least once a week. It's something, but it's just covered in desperation for socialization.

The three of us, (not including the depressed one,) have dubbed ourselves, (it's fun to be immature,) "The Loser Club". "No-Life-ers Unite!" is our unofficial motto. The two of them spend just about all their free time on the internet, and I... well I just bum around! I'm good at taking a long time to do everything, and my time just disappears with nothing that I can say about it.

But now I'm down rambling! You're free to go now!

BGoodForGoodSake · Post by **BGoodForGoodSake** » Mon Nov 14, 2005 7:36 pm

kateliz wrote:I'm pasting here what I would've left in the age thread if it had been on-topic:

No, I get all that, BGood. But you first have to get into it to appreciate that as you should, and I guess I'm not willing enough to get into it again after all this time!

I've added several books to my library with the intent of educating myself through them, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet! I bum around too much. Want more excitement. I used to love to sit and read and think. Used to want to be stuck in a jail cell or hospital bed just so that I could do that constantly. For years I was like that. Years, and years, and... well, I'm not that old! But being in a job where I only interact with two young kids, and not having hardly any friends, I'm just starving for socialization. Used to want to be a hermit and be away from everyone too. I would day-dream of sitting in my little hut on a mountain side, never seeing another living soul for decades! Now I feel like the opposite. Want to have friends around me all the time that I can joke around with and go and do adventurous stuff with.

I have recently made a new friend though. So that makes three! Yipee! But the one friend never wants to do anything and never even bothers to answer her phone, (for everyone, not just me,) or return my calls. She's depressed, but won't let me help undepress her. So I end up spending all my time, (most every day now,) with the other friend, and the two of us IM the other other friend during the week and have been getting together with him at least once a week. It's something, but it's just covered in desperation for socialization. The three of us, (not including the depressed one,) have dubbed ourselves, (it's fun to be immature,) "The Loser Club". "No-Life-ers Unite!" is our unofficial motto. The two of them spend just about all their free time on the internet, and I... well I just bum around! I'm good at taking a long time to do everything, and my time just disappears with nothing that I can say about it.

But now I'm down rambling! You're free to go now!

What ever it is your doing you will always feel like time is flying by and being wasted.

Right now I have a full time job and take 3 courses online. Along with that I tutor students to prepare for the SAT's and I also have a contract on the side with a software firm. Along with playing many games of basketball and helping my wife around the house and her own studies, I am working and playing non-stop.

I would love to do nothing and lie around all day. I feel as if time is slipping from my grasp. Actually as far back as I can remember I was always very aware of how short life was. I remember when I was three and thinking how everyone is a child and needs someone to help them, lift them. And then I thought to myself, soon I would be an adult with no-one to look up to because they have all passed away.

There were times when I layed around all day watching my dog run around in the fields with my friends sitting near by, just waiting for the sun to set. I can remember that, although I cherish those days, I couldn't help feeling that I was letting life pass me by. I had to get up and do something. Something inside told me I had to contribute something to humanity before my short life was over.

So you can see either way for most of us, we will feel as if time is not being spent wisely, or is slipping away like a slithery fish, freshly cought, but soon wriggling free to return to the depths from which it came.

Ok *ping* the balls in your court.
=)